Last night, I didn't get to sleep when I wanted to but if you read my previous post, you'd know it was for good reasons. I got into bed and my mind raced. I don't know about you but I tend to over-think and over-plan, especially when I lay in bed. So to calm myself down and redirect my energies, I fantasize about some scenario. Sometimes its replaying what has happened, imagining what could happen, or playing a completely absurd never-will-happen moment in my head.

There's usually a story, but before I get even that far, I set-up the scene. Down to the smallest details.

My sisters can relate to this: Many a night while growing up we would lay in bed and dream out loud to each other our spactacular houses of the future. We would re-create night after night stories about beautiful people and fantastic adventures. We would tell each other about our futures, as we saw them; What we wanted to do and where we wanted to live; What are callings were, to our 7 & 8 year old minds.

So, last night as I refocused my hectic mind upon one of my random stories, the usual submersion enveloped me, drowning everything else out, and I fell asleep.

---

This morning, there was no water. Not just, no hot water, but no water at all. The pipes froze. Damn winters. And damn Wisconsin. I checked to see if our heater was working outside of our half of the building (it's aimed at the pipes in the unfinished walls) and as far as I could see, nothing was wrong there. My only thought is that it just got so cold that the heater couldn't even keep up. Or that the heater shorted out.

The layer of ice on the windshield of my car was so thick that it took me 1/2 an hour to scrap it off. And yes, I had my cars defrost running at the top-most heat. How frustrating.

Good news is I am wearing perhaps the grooviest sweater in the whole frickin' world. It was a birthday gift from a sis (thanks, sis), and is fabulous! Gray and black thread make up my long-sleeve, ribbed-sweater turtleneck. The edges all have fringe. The raised ribbing is gray and the under layer is black. It lays flat and accentuates what should be accentuated, and doesn't show off what shouldn't. Very dreamy.

Because of techinical difficulties I was unable to do much of anything last night. I was surfing and scanning and wasting time until I had more to post than:

• I voted! Yeah!
• Hmmm, what else? Did I mention I voted?
• Oh, and I voted!

I think this is the problem. I use Camino as my internet browser. I don't think the new options for styling posts is jiving with it. I can write my "Subject", but I can't write the "Event". What I mean by "I can't write", beyond the obvious is that the curser doesn't even show up. I've tried tabbing to the field, I've tried copying and pasting. Nothin'. Is anyone else having the same problem?

So, I'm on the PC at work (Internet Explorer) and I can write 'til I'm blue in the face... or until my boss comes by, (then I am so alt-tabbing it.)

We went to the service today, then the cemetary, oops- pardon me "Resting Place". I guess cemetary conjurs up images of ghosts and zombies and Halloween.

While we were there, we saw sections labled for easy finding of your loved ones, like: Christus I, Christus II and so on. There was a section called Babyland. Uh, Huzband. Did you see that? The Babyland. Babyland?! Go ahead, roll that around on your tongue. Babyland.

Sure enough, smaller spaces for burying deceased children. But Babyland?! It seems too soft and sickly-sweet. The name conjures up images of playing babies or the section in the Toys'R'Us store with diapers and changing tables or a daycare. If they needed to designate it for babies, why couldn't they call it something else. Like, the Nursery? Or Spring? For biblical name, why not Genesis I Or Corynthians (sp?)?

It's a soft name for a hard reality.

We were at another cemetery, in another part of the state visiting another plot... jokingly I asked Huzband where the Babyland was... Wouldn't you know it, it was right around the corner.

I didn't know these places existed, much less called Babyland. Did you know there was such a place called Babyland in cemeteries?

I really can't get over this name. Babyland. BAY-BEE-LAND...

I can sort of understand why you would want to section off a part for smaller plots... making it easier to layout the sites... but it seemed  so morbidly ..."precious".

In the Durango desert, in Mexico, there's a creepy spot called the 'Zone of Silence.' You can't pick up clear TV or radio signals. And locals say fireballs sometimes appear in the sky.

"Blogging has done something to me though, somehow made me a different person. I notice small things, in the moment things, that I didn't always notice before. You start to look at your life as interesting, you appreciate your experiences and who you are...at least that is what it has done to me..."

I didn't see Iron Jawed Angels on HBO; I wish I had. A friend sent this to me. I do not know the author except to say it came from an e-zine my friend subscribes to, perhaps the letters section... The women were innocent and defenseless. And by the end of the night, they were barely alive. Forty prison guards wielding clubs and their warden's blessing went on a rampage against the 33 women wrongly convicted of "obstructing sidewalk traffic." They beat Lucy Burn, chained her hands to the cell bars above her head and left her hanging for the night, bleeding and gasping for air. They hurled Dora Lewis into a dark cell, smashed her head against an iron bed and knocked her out cold. Her cellmate, Alice Cosu, thought Lewis was dead and suffered a heart attack. Additional affidavits describe the guards grabbing, dragging, beating, choking, slamming,
pinching, twisting and kicking the women. Thus unfolded the "Night of Terror" on Nov. 15, 1917, when the warden at the Occoquan Workhouse in Virginia ordered his guards to teach a lesson to the suffragists imprisoned there because they dared to picket Woodrow Wilson's White House for the right to vote.

For weeks, the women's only water came from an open pail. Their food--all of it colorless slop--was infested with worms. When one of the leaders, Alice Paul, embarked on a hunger strike, they tied her to a chair, forced a tube down her throat and poured liquid into her until she vomited. She was tortured like this for weeks until word was smuggled out to the press.

So, refresh my memory. Some women won't vote this year because--why, exactly? We have carpool duties? We have to get to work? Our vote doesn't matter? It's raining?

Last week, I went to a sparsely attended screening of HBO's new movie "Iron Jawed Angels." It is a graphic depiction of the battle these women waged so that I could pull the curtain at the polling booth and have my say. I am ashamed to say I needed the reminder. All these years later, voter registration is still my passion. But the actual act of voting had become less personal for me, more rote. Frankly, voting often felt more like an obligation than a privilege. Sometimes it was inconvenient.

My friend Wendy, who is my age and studied women's history, saw the HBO movie, too. When she stopped by my desk to talk about it, she looked angry. She was--with herself. "One thought kept coming back to me as I watched that movie," she said. "What would those women think of the way I use--or don't use--my right to vote? All of us take it for granted now, not just younger women, but those of us who did seek to learn." The right to vote, she said, had become valuable to her "all over again."

HBO will run the movie periodically before releasing it on video and DVD. I wish all history, social studies and government teachers would include the movie in their curriculum. I want it shown on Bunko night, too, and anywhere else women gather. I realize this isn't our usual idea of socializing, but we are not voting in the numbers that we should be, and I think a little shock therapy is in order.

It is jarring to watch Woodrow Wilson and his cronies try to persuade a psychiatrist to declare Alice Paul insane so that she could be permanently institutionalized. It was inspiring to watch the doctor refuse. Alice Paul was strong, he said, and brave. That didn't make her crazy. The doctor admonished the men: "Courage in women is often mistaken for insanity."

this girl i meet, she has full lips to launch a thousand ships. i feel dizzy. she gets a new haircut that takes her from beautiful to beautiful in under 60 minutes. she gets mad because i don't say anything right away, but still brings me champagne grapes. she's soft and blonde with the best cheekbones ever. she understands the things i do not. the importance of being friendly, being nice. how to feed your guests on 4 ingredients in under 10 minutes. what is just the right thing to do for someone. my best skills can be replaced by an abacus and spell check.

• Stay up as long as we want, sleep as long as we want. Take as many naps as we want.
• Go outside to our "beach" (the stream) and let the sun and wind play against our skin.
• Because we couldn't go to Utah (for my Grandfather's funeral) we also incorporated the "Fuck-it Bucket" (see David Sedaris' "Me Talk Pretty One Day") and filled it with candy and chips in part to console me and also to differentiate this time from all the other times we're at home. We're on vacation dammit!
• We're going to "do" our town like we are tourists.
• We ate out today and will eat out again.
• We're going to a Kerry/Edwards event (Sheryl Crow will be there too) tomorrow.
• Also, lots and lots of internet and video games!

• Accountability.
• Bounce around ideas and get feedback.
  
• Creativity.
  
• Documentation of progress.
  
• Educate myself and others.
  
• Feeling that we are all unique in some way, so if I can find that something unique about myself and share it, I have contributed.
  
• Gathering all my favorite information to create an ever-expanding journal.
  
• House the mundane and daily information in chronological order.
  
• Inquire re. others opinions.
  
• Journaling to the world, both those I know and those I don't.
  
• Knowing, even if it is minute, that I could be asked to do this professional is the tiniest incentive.
  
• Link sharing.
  
• My outlet, my control. One place I have all the control.
  
• Need answers I can't fid anywhere else, so I ask the readers.
  
• Outside my usual circle for feedback.
  
• Peer comparison.
  
• Quotes that mean a lot to me.
  
• Research collected and shared, but more importantly all right here.
  
• Sharing thoughts, recipes, images, etc.
  
• Thinking outloud.
• Understanding myself.
  
• View other people's blogs, and give them a place to get to knwo me.
  
• Waken interests of certain topics in other people...
  
• eXample: Pollitics, books, environment, movies, people, etc.
  
• Yearning to improve myself.
  
• Zero financial investment (for now).

Passwords and names and phone numbers are coming back to me as I type them, unaware that minutes ago they weren’t there. Fingers and vocal cords using ancient embedded physically-retained memories.

I imagine this life isn’t for me. I imagine that travel is in my future. I imagine that I take a sabbatical and study what makes me tick rhythmically, grow spiritually and thrive economically. Sitting here, I realize that this job is as ill-fitting as a thrice-washed polyester-rayon-cotton blend jumpsuit.

See previous post as to what I’m going to be doing during my free time (aka. not at work, not playing FFXI, and cleaning our place*). Again, thanks Mclii.

It is good to be productive though. I don’t want to be a slacker.

Thought I would let everyone know that today is a Perfect Day. Perfect temp, wind, and sun create the trifecta of perfection.

I know you all wish you were here. Wish you were here too.

So far, I've subscribed to the following topics:

• blogging
• currentevents
• harrypotter
• macusers
• mindsaythemes
• onlinegaming
• quotes
• travel
• visualarts
• wisconsin

If you want to build your own and check out topics with forum-like style go to: http://www.mindsay.com/live [Updated July 21, 2005: They took away the subscriptions and replaced them with tags. Less hassle.]

I know this is sacrilegious but an apple has the same "waking-up" power that a cup of coffee does. (Don't boo me! Hey you, stop your hissing.) It's a fact. I read it somewhere on the internet. What we read on the internet's true, right?

And I'm not dissing apples either. They keep doctors away, are crunchy and you can tuck them in a sack to eat later... but coffee... coffee is an experience.

Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and as sweet as love. --Turkish proverb

Coffee is a fleeting moment and a fragrance. --Claudia Roden

After all, coffee is bitter, a flavor from the forbidden and dangerous realm. --Diane Ackerman

"A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual death."

I stole this quote from a good bloggers site. She is honest and dedicated in what she believes. I am inspired by her.

Example: She was feeling hardened by New York City, and because she's lived her life that best fits her needs she was able to up and move to Seattle. But it isn't as simple as that, rather, it was as simple as that. She's kept her life simplified, minimizing her belongings, her ties that (like most of us) keep you stuck in one place (ie. bills, cable, etc...).

Rock on, Dori! You are an artist of the mind, of the soul and of life.

Some days I'm stymied for an interesting topic. Those days I usually pick some random, inconsiquential thing that occured. Those days I fall back on my observations, hopefully something that makes my experience, although not unique stand out amongst all the thousands of bloggers out there.

Or I post some links.

Or I delve into a word document (or two) where I've stockpiled ideas.

Other days, like today, I'm practically brimming with teasing ideas and interesting-to-me topics. These days provide ample thoughts, prespectives, lists, links, sketches, photos, energy and the list goes on. Get it?

When this happens I weigh what is most relevant or important and I post it, ideally pushing those other posts to the aforementioned word documents.

This particular post weighed supreme and won the mini-struggle to be posted.

What lost?

Read on...

• Pie-making
• What I plan on calling our future place
• Work-time's speed
• Things I heard on Air America
• State St. and Halloween and Sports Illustrated
• WTF plug (check that off the list)

You may or may not know (becase I know you have your own life, are busy or are very forgetful,) but Huzband and I don't have cable television. It was a gradual decline started by eliminating Showtime and other channels, until recently when we amputated the whole cable television from our home. Alas, we missed the oft-praised, habitually-touted, hilariously insightful "Dead Like Me".

Now we aren't missing anything. AAP brought over his copy of the first season and last night we began our marathon. We're resuming the viewing at noon today. I love this show.

Oh, don't miss "Shaun of the Dead". See Chillys blog entry.

Overly melodramatic is my mood.

I'm trying to place how I feel, but all I can visualize is swooping arms and deep sighs. "I can't be here. I have things to do." Italics are great for the dramatist in me.

Sleepy yet enthusiastic is my body.

One half of me could, with the right aid, fall asleep. When I close my eyes I see on the inside of my eyelids a cave-like bedroom, cool sheets and a nap. Contrarily, the urge to push off a nap and do something constructive is very strong. I want to get home and mop the floor. Oh yes, I said mop the floor. SOMETHING. MUST. BE. WRONG. WITH. ME!!!

Oh, and I'm a little hungry too. Could go for some muffins with some butter, or a bit of bread with jam.

• Not plan for lunch?
• Have a work space that has a framed picture of a martini in it?
• Does anyone else have a "Trading Spaces" calendar hanging in their cubicle? If so, I assume you're still watching... anything cool happening on that show? I miss it.
• Drink water hoping it will fill you?
• Use the Franklin-Covey Cranium pages? If so, what did you put for today's caption? I put, "... and that's when the twins knew they liked to drink."
• Hoard the pencil sharpener but get annoyed when people use it in your cubicle?
• Count the hours until you can get out of work and get home?

My niece lost her tooth about a week ago. She was so excited.

It reminded me of being in first grade music class, playing with a tooth and having it pop out as if magically. I pull one of the teachers aside and show them.

A bit of toilet paper and an envelope holding my tooth I was ready. I didn't play any music that day. I was too distracted by the spongy hole with tendrils of fleshy bits in my gum that my tongue seemed to be magnetically drawn to.

Congratulations, Niece! It is so exciting, no?

No fairytale, baby teeth key to repairing human tissue

'Baby teeth will be used to repair brains, mend hearts and grow new adult teeth under an ambitious medical project even its creators admit "sounds like science fiction".

Scientists at the Royal Adelaide Hospital's Hanson Institute are using discarded baby teeth to grow human tissue to replace damaged cells in various parts of the human body.

Stem cells – the base cells which grow into different body parts – taken from baby teeth are being influenced to grow into bone, cartilage, muscle and brain cells.

In the latest step, researchers have started injecting human stem cells taken from baby teeth into the brains of rats which have been induced to have a stroke.

The goal is to have the human cells either replace the damaged neural networks or stimulate other cells to take over the job.

If successful, baby teeth eventually could be used to treat humans with damage from stroke or afflictions such as Parkinson's disease.

Other applications include using the stem cells to grow teeth to replace damaged human teeth.

Dr Stan Gronthos, from the Hanson Institute, identified stem cells from the pulp in teeth while working with colleague Dr S. Shi in the US.

"The great thing about working with teeth is that baby teeth are routinely discarded, unlike trying to obtain cells from the liver or heart," he said.

"They usually go to the tooth fairy and that's the end of it, but we can use them.

"One stem cell can be grown in culture into a colony of thousands of cells, then into millions of cells.

"They can regenerate into connective tissue such as bone, cartilage, fat and muscle."

Dr Gronthos has submitted an article to the prestigious Lancet medical journal following the recent success of a project which put human tissue into rats to regenerate teeth.

"Stem cells from teeth can be influenced to grow into tissue other than teeth," Dr Gronthos said.

"We have some evidence that some cells may have the potential to develop into neural cells.

"We now have a project injecting human cells into the brains of rats in the hope they can replace networks damaged by stroke or degenerative neural diseases.

"It sounds like science fiction but it is more of a technical issue."

A trial with Professor Mark Bartold, of Adelaide University School of Dentistry, will implant stem cells in sheep to study teeth and jaw regeneration.

If successful, human trials will follow which could spell the end of dentures.

Discarded adult teeth such as extracted wisdom teeth also can be used to obtain stem cells which in turn can be grown into a variety of tissue.

"We can direct the stem cells about the way to go – one becomes a tooth, another grows into heart muscle, another becomes neural cells," Dr Gronthos said. "Regenerating teeth is important for quality of life because if someone cannot chew properly they can face real problems."

By Pasadena Phil

To replace Reply:

Therapy/Therapists

Seasoning/Mmmmms

View/Snapshots

Slot A/Tab Bs

Myth?/Dragons

or if I had it over to do again, names I would entertain for a blog:

Good Blogger

Not Inconvenienced

Logged Thruout (the entire process)

Criminals Beware

Last night I listened to the debate between Vice President Dick Cheney and (you must be under a rock if you don't know) VP-hopeful John Edwards on the radio. (No cable or television, remember?)

Now remember, I was listening not watching so I can only talk about what I heard. (And what I visualized in my own "theater of the mind".)

Firstly, I visualized the two of them sitting accross from each other, at an angle, with the moderator 3/4 turn away from each. I imagine they were sitting at a great cherry wood table. Not the dark cherry, but the warm squash-colored cherry. Both would be wearing suit and tie. The ties probably some varient of burgundy. If not in the reds, then blues... because you know, blue means "trust me". Huh... what if Cheny wore the blue tie and Edwards the red. (I will have to look online and see if I can find some images to corraborate.)

Personally, I didn't like the moderator's voice or her delivery... except for one time when Cheney called her by name and she in turn said "Mr. Vice President." That was funny, soliciting some laughs from the audience. (Some of whom I pictured wearing cloaks and robes in white, while others wore bib-overalled hicks with pitchforks and torches. Not really sure which side was rooting for which side.)

During the question and answer segment I was struck by the lack of energy and I can only attribute that to their seated positions. People are more commanding, energetic when standing.

Cheney, comfortable in front of large crowds that can make him millions, was slow-talking with a soothing-oh-so-confident voice... until I heard out-right lies come out of his mouth. That snake charmer!  He said they had never met. He said he never implied there were links between Osama and Iraq. He said he doesn't have any connections to Halliburton. He said the whole Halliburton thing was a smoke screen. And the list goes on... ladee-dadee-da, laddee-dadde-duh.

And that's where my red mage died. He had been healing my party, but red mages aren't really equipped to do those things, you understand. So when he got beat on, then we got beat on by the goblin when we tried to stop him from getting beat on, he was the first to die. The red mage was so upset that he left our partry, no good byes or anything.

From where I was sitting, Edwards was slow to get warmed up. But once he did, he took no prisoners. He called Cheney on his lies. He tried to be diplomatic... which I wish he wouldn't have been. He's a good trial lawyer and he had plenty to call Cheney to task on, but didn't. As VP-hopeful, he was in the unique position to get dirty so that John Kerry does not.

Still, I think Edwards did very well. I like the guy. I liked the way he goofed up by saying "John Kerry" a couple of times. I also liked how he pointed out Cheney's question dodging, which I overlooked because Cheney has that snake-charmer thing with his voice. This country needs anti-snake-charmers.

Edwards felt sincere and informed. I felt Cheney was smart and condescending. The two of them rehashed crap from the first presidential debate, which I wasn't too pleased with. It felt like Cheney was trying to spin, spin, spin it.

Finally, I found a replacement for the red mage. We power leveled with the aid of a 31 white mage named Cadrock. We got a few good fights in then. But he had to leave eventually and we were back at square one. Andres, a warrior, kept bugging me for the leader role, so I gave it to him.

The debates ended, Phil Hendrie came on, I turned off the radio and made my excuses to my party. (300 exp. 'til next 26th level, by the way). Turned off the game and went to the eMac to finish up some things for tomorrow's ONE YEAR ANNIVERSAY for Chilly.

• Flying in, many houses have blue tarps on the roofs marking Gene's and Francis' passing.
• We left Wisconsin and it was 60 degrees F. and here it was about 80 degrees F.
• I kept thinking I was smelling some woman's perfume until it became obvious it was the air. A soft, subtle heady perfume of flowers and water.
• I'm not a stranger to palm trees, but the varieties are impressive.

I shall start whereever my fingers land.
And you shall read what I command.
This place I'm at, right here, right now is odd and disjointed
With things I've willed myself to forget, selectively appointed.
My week away was good at worst and wonderful at best.
However now, I am sick and I need tons and tons of rest.

Topic: Children and Disney

I've mentioned it before, from what I've seen Disney's theme parks are fantastic, but the real way to experience them is through a child. If you went as a child you got to experience it this way. Vicariously, I watched kids from around the world oooh and aaaah over Cinderella, Goofy, Genie. I too, would get caught up and get excited to see Chip and Dale.

But it wasn't always sunshine and flowers. AAP wrote about one incident where a parent wanted to leave their child in their stroller (unattended) while she went on a ride. I saw parents loose their cool at the Happiest Place on Earth; one father yanked his child so hard the kid fell. The father continued to pull his son toward him along the cement walkway. The kid didn't get to his feet until he was at his father's side. Excitement, stress and stimuli all contribute to raised tempers and short attention spans.

Still, kids will be kids and parents will be aged kids, too. Two particular incidences poke out at me. Allow me to set the scene.

The first event (chronologically) occured at the Disney-MGM Studio park inside the Aerosmith ride. Of course there are lines and of course there are long waits. (It was a cool ride.) Directly in front of me were some teenagers. And in front of them was a family. The youngest boy (about 7 years old) of that family kept straying from his family. The mother seemed particularly unconcerned, probably because he always made his way back to her.

So, for the 20 min. or so leading up to this moment I'm about to describe to you, we would pass by him and eventually he would dodge around us and the teenagers, to get back to his family. Almost tripping over him a couple of times gave me the sense we knew each other.

In this darkened room with loud-ish Aerosmith music we again came upon the little boy. Again, I almost tripped over him. At first, it looked like he was just hanging onto the railing watching people getting into the cars for the ride, but upon a closer look I saw that his head was at an angle and his mouth and toungue were wrapped around the vertical part of the railing.

A little shocked I asked him, "Are you licking that?!"

He looked up at me, startled and caught. He looked confused but inside his brain something must've told him he had a job to do because he hurriedly turned back to the post, dragged his tongue down to the base of the pole then back up to the top on the side he hadn't finished. I sputtered, amazed, "Are you licking the rail?!" Then, with only a scared backward glance he rushed back to the other side of his mother.

Until we were seperated he kept looking at me suspiciously. And from then on I kept my hands off the rails.

The other event I want to set up, I didn't actually hear. AAP did, so really he should tell this story. Because I already had the Licking-Kid story he told me I could tell it. Magic Kingdom: our last day and our last park, it closed early for "Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party:" This meant if you paid an extra $30 (or so) you could stick around and see the characters in halloween costumes and if the kids were in costume they could trick-or-treat.

Because we didn't stick around, we, along with many, many more were heading out. Many children were dressed up. Tons of Disney characters, ninjas and ghosts, monsters and Oz characters. As we reached the exit we all saw super heroes. One in particular was Spiderman. The Spiderman in question was apparently dragging his feet. Spiderman's mother said within hearing of AAP, "Some super hero. You're already tired."

I found 3 bags of Spicier Nacho Doritos in the garbage today. They were unopened. I suspect that the vending machine guy just threw them out today as he was refilling the machine because they "expired" on Oct. 5th.

I am leaving for the day, a whole whopping two hours before I was due to.

For more up to the minute reporting of my life and dumpster/trash bin diving, stay tuned to nomad.mindsay.com.

...I pulled three bags of unopened Doritos from the garbage. Geesh, I thought this post would at least get the same amount of comment the washing-my-cats-butt post got.

What do I got to do for you?!

I'm just kidding. I don't do this for the comments. I really don't.

I do it for the hate mail.

No, not really. I do it to waste time.

I'm nervous. I did something I can't take back. To a very, very dear friend; one whom I respect so much, I've given my blog address. *gulp* Oh, heartburn. *double gulp*

Laying it on thick pic:

Just before a performance I get really excited. I also get a little nervous. Not when I'm on the stage, instead just before I step on. And I love it. That feeling pumps me up so big I float. I'm antsy and thrilled. My skin is hypersensitive and the adrenaline is pumping. I can do anything.

I've also been through the motions, the words, the songs so many times I could do it asleep and unfortunately without breathing. "What'sthatsound?Isthatthesoundofoldmanwinter?ItmustbeI'msocold,itmustbehim!" Slow down Nomad. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

You know, I don't believe that: "Just because you can, doesn't mean you should." Let's not over think this. Barring illegal things, why shouldn't you do the things you can? Typically, other people are the ones who dictate what others should or shouldn't do, via censure of the tsk-tsking variety or out-right, "Don't do that!"

What get's my proverbial goat, (because I don't have one) are the people who attempt to censor me with condescending laughter. I'm sure you know the kind. The "Oh, Nomad, I was wondering what you were doing" even though they knew full well what it was I was doing. It seems to me, these people lay on this superior attitude when they themselves don't want to be questioned. It soon becomes habit then these people follow this imaginary voice of "decorum" and "expectations". Do you feel the sarcasm dripping off those words? Good.

There are people in my life who don't try to stop me from being me, sincere goofiness and all. There are people I see victims of others controlling attitudes. I've seen these people become trapped by other's expectations.

Stereotypes are an example of this. Actually, other people living out stereotypes is the example. I'm sure you can list off at least a couple people who allow themselves to live within stereotypes. The more famous of these are the broad social depictions: blacks, asians, men, women, hispanics, lawyers, rich, hillbillies, trailer trash... but the more disturbing to me are the less obvious and defensable catagories. They are the little stereotypes self-inflicted to better "fit in" and do what is socially agreed upon as generally accepted:

• (fill-in-the-blank)-aholic
• "Cat/Dog-Lover"
• Bitch/Brat/Princess
• Tough guy/gal
• Gender compartments: "I don't handle the finances..."/"I don't buy the family clothes..."
• Husband vs. Wife: Slyly referring to the other spouse as a dictator or task master, doing things behind the others back. A parent-child relationship instead of as equals, maybe not even to each other but in front of others to fit some bizarre mold.
• Poor Me, Can't Get A Break
• Hate The-Daily-Grind/Mondays/Rainy-days/Cheerful-People etc.

There are people in my life who don't try to stop me from being me, sincerely goofy and all. There are others that try to compartmentalize me and ashamedly I sometimes allow them to. It can be easier.

We all need to live honest lives. Uncluttered by roles that are not ours. Some of the above examples have legitimates owners, but too often I see others follow suit for fear of causing friction or making an effort to be themselves. It's scary, but the alternative performance hurts you much more than me.

You know if you are this person, you've got to. If you don't, I fear for you even more than I did before. Because if you are not honest with yourself, if the person you portray has more time in existance then your true self, the more unhappy you will be.

Am I preaching to the choir? About voting, about Kerry, about Bush? About anything?

Is WTF spouting to the converted? Are we doing any actual good? Do you listen for the politcal talk? Do you tolerate the political talk?

Are you going to vote this year because empassioned bloggers convinced you of the importance of voting?

Do you know who the heck I am? What I stand for? What makes me happy? What my values are? Are you going to deny me rights because you don't agree with my lifestyle? With my values? My freedoms?

Are you satisfied with the way things are politically?

Internationally?

Economically?

Environmentally?

Seriously answer some, if not all of these.

So, you're going to vote. Yay!

Now, are you wondering what else you can do to help other people vote? Are you curious what you can do to make sure everyone is counted? Are you looking for something to make your stay a little nicer at the polling place?

Well I have some suggestions for you!

• Take along an umbrella! That way if the lines are too long and weave their way outside, people are protected from the elements and not discouraged enough to head home without punching their voice into a ballot.
• Think in terms of hours people. With record numbers expected to turn out, you may be standing in line for a few. Take along some snacks. Offer to share. Maybe a deck of cards will help those around you pass the time.
• Have children ages 10-17? Good. Take them along and let them stand in line for the elderly when/if they need to sit down. Your child can witness the importance of voting while lending their legs to those who find it difficult to stand for long periods of time.
• Offer neighbors and friends a ride to their polling place. Make sure they know their district. Drive them to where they need to be.
• If friends and neighbors have young children, offer to watch them to give them a chance to go to the polls.

Remember, if we want to get people to vote, we need to do everything we can to make sure it gets done. Offer your talents, your resources your energy.

P.S. I'm renewed for these last five days, because I found out that my co-worker who wasn't going to vote is going to AND she's going to get her family to vote too, because (in part) of what I've been talking to her about!

Last night, Chilly and I went to a great little restaurant on State St. It was called Peacemeal, and it was all vegetarian foods. It is locally owned. Its primary goal was to feed people nutritious, natural, economically and environmentally sound foods while being fair to animals, other people and aided the local community. They didn't even accept credit cards because they didn't want the diner or themselves to aid big business.

But how was the food, you may be asking me. It was awesome! We started off with Miso soup. Then I had the BBQ Seitan with American fries with a side of soy sour cream. Chilly had the Mediteranian Platter. We both enjoyed the 100% Fair Wage coffee. (Here's an article that can help you understand what I'm talking about.) I even ordered the biggest slice of chocolate cake. ON. THE. PLANET. All of the portions were humongous. And have I yet mentioned that our stomachs almost burst with the amount of food we injested? Because they almost did. Burst.

The price was reasonable and the atmosphere was fun. Check the link for pictures. We sat in the window. Near the door.

After eating, we crossed the street to head to our 7 o'clock meeting with MoveOn Pac. We signed up to help out on Election Day. We're both taking the day off, so we will be available to aid in which ever way people need us, either at the polls or picking people up. We'll be placed wherever we're most needed. I'm excited.

I am sad though, I missed my friend, Ray's birthday party at the Great Dane. Another great place to eat. I think she undertands though. Especially when she gets her present and we celebrate her birthday after Election Day.

Man, this being politically active stuff is time consuming. Who knew?! LOL Just kidding, it's all good. Balance, balance, balance. Breathe in... breathe out.

Allow me, dear reader, to catch your eye with a few swift words typed into cyberspace.

Tonight at 9PM (Central), WTF will broadcast yet again. Please join us.

Also, with three days to go until election day I want to leave you with one plea: Find 5 people you haven't talked to about politics. 5 people you've been afraid to say anything to, and ask them:

Are you going to vote Tues.? If they say yes, get a promise out of them. In fact, tell them it would be fun if you could all go to the polls together. Set up a times and a place and physically take them. Ensure that your friends and family get out to vote!

Truthfully, I want Kerry to win. I want more people to turn out to vote for Kerry than any other. But I refuse to participate in voter supression. I can't stomach the stories about republican organizations registering hundreds of people, then tearing up the democratic registrations. I can't stand the thought of people standing at the polls and telling people as they walk in that they can't vote here, or there, or because they don't have id, or because the line is too long, or your name was similar to a convict and they threw out your registration, etc. This has happened!

This will happen again... unless you as a voter are aware.

When you take your friends to the polls this Tues. know where you need to go. Know whether or not there is same day registration or if registration was required in advance. Know if you were registered. Know your rights! Help others at the polls if you see them being descriminated against.

It's scary sometimes. But be strong. When you know your rights, it's immensely easier. Do some research online. Go back into my archives. I have links to state regulations regarding voting. There are tons of resources.

At the very least, go to the poll early and get your 5 people there early too. If you feel you have been discriminated against, if you are turned away illegally, a federal offence by the way, give yourself some time to call the Clerk of Courts in your area. Give yourself time to know whether there is any legitimate reason why you shouldn't be allowed to vote. If you are denied your right, your priveledge then find out who is denying you. Find out how they are denying you.

Ask questions! Be strong. Take 5 people to the polls with you. Especially if they weren't going to before. If you have any concerns, although I'm no expert drop me a reply and I will see what I can find out. Information is out there.

You watch my back and I'll watch yours.

Update:

Here's a printable wallet-size "Election Protection" card.

Hey TattooedJen, check this:

"My advice is this: if you have ever voted before, you are probably still registered from your last address. Check your status online (if your state allows you to -- Illinois does) and then relax. If you registered recently, it may not have been recorded yet."

For the whole artical, go here.

Also, on WTF I want to talk about October Surprise! But if you want to see a link talking about what an October Surprise is, go here.

(Please pardon the use of 2 for to in the title. I ran out of space.)

Some things regarding politics, three if you want to count my plea for you to take some time off work or from school and stand in line at your local polling place and voting. Yeah, call that one politics too.

Fo Shur: Last week Bin Laden released a video tape saying he bombed us for our own good. Why is this statement so loaded? Because of a few things. First, the fact that he is telling us this means he's alive. Second, he admits what we thought we knew, that he was responsible for 9-11. And he blames George Bush for allowing the attacks to continue.

This is a rather stupid argument on Bin Laden's part. It's like a 8 year old kid saying to his parents, "Well, because you left out the ipecac I fed it to the dog, to my little brother, my sister and grandma." Because someone decides to do something and it's wrong and someone doesn't prevent you, doesn't make it okay. Seems pretty obvious right? But there is some truth to his argument, too. I hate to say it. I really do, because I don't want to give a killer any praise, but if a person is wounded, the first thing to do is remove them from harm. If the country is hurting, you remove it from harm. You get on the offensive. You start acting right away! You don't just sit there letting people continue to hurt you.

Here is the transcript of Bin Laden's tape, found on the BBC's website:

Bin Laden spoke directly to camera

"Oh American people, my talk to you is about the best way to avoid another Manhattan, about the war, its causes, and results.

Security is an important pillar of human life. Free people do not relinquish their security. This is contrary to Bush's claim that we hate freedom.

Let him tell us why we did not strike Sweden, for example. It is known that those who hate freedom do not have proud souls, like the souls of the 19 people [killed while perpetrating the 11 September 2001 attacks], may God have mercy on them.

We fought you because we are free and do not accept injustice. We want to restore freedom to our nation. Just as you waste our security, we will waste your security.

'Striking the towers'

I am amazed at you. Although almost four years have passed since the [11 September] incidents, Bush is still practising distortion and confusion.

He also continues to conceal from you the real reason [for the 11 September attacks]. Thus, the motives still exist for repeating what happened.

I will speak to you about the reasons behind these incidents. I will honestly tell you about the minutes in which the decision was made so that you will consider. I say to you that God knows that the idea of striking the towers never occurred to us.

Your security is in your own hands

But, after things had gone too far and we saw the injustice of the US-Israeli alliance against our people in Palestine and Lebanon, I started thinking of that.

The events that influenced me directly trace back to 1982 and subsequent events when the United States gave permission to the Israelis to invade Lebanon, with the aid of the sixth US fleet.

At those difficult moments, many meanings that are hard to describe went on in my mind. However, these meanings produced an overwhelming feeling to reject injustice and generated a strong determination to punish the unjust ones.

While I was looking at those destroyed towers in Lebanon, it occurred to me to punish the unjust one in a similar manner by destroying towers in the United States so that it would feel some of what we felt and to be deterred from killing our children and women...

We did not find it difficult to deal with Bush and his administration, because it is similar to regimes in our countries, half of which are governed by the military and the other half of which are governed by the sons of kings and presidents; and we have a long experience with them.

In both categories, you find many who are characterised by hubris, arrogance, greed, and unlawful acquisition of money. This similarity transpired since Bush Senior's visit to the region.

'Election rigging'

While some of our people were dazzled by the United States and hoped that these visits would affect our countries, he, instead, was affected by these royal and military regimes, envying them for remaining in their posts for scores of years, embezzling public money without being held accountable or monitored.

Accordingly, he transferred dictatorship and the repression of freedoms to his son by introducing the Patriot Act under the pretext of fighting terrorism.

Bush Senior deemed it appropriate to assign his sons to states. He also did not forget to convey the [election] rigging experience from the leaders of the [Arab] region to Florida to benefit from it at critical times...

We had agreed with the chief amir [leader - of the 11 September hijackers] Mohammed Atta that he should accomplish all the operations within 20 minutes before Bush and his administration could take notice.

It never occurred to us that the supreme commander of the US armed forces would leave 50,000 of his citizens in the two towers to face those great horrors alone, at a time when they needed him badly.

This is because it seemed to him that being preoccupied with the little child's talk about her goat and its butting was more important than being preoccupied with the planes and their ramming into the skyscrapers.

This gave with three times the period required for carrying out the operations, praise be to God.

Your security does not lie in the hands of Kerry, Bush, or al-Qaeda. Your security is in your own hands. Each and every state that does not tamper with our security will have automatically assured its own security."

This is disturbing. This is creepy. Take from this what you will. It's easy in hindsight to justify your actions, Bin Laden. We all know that and should be above that.

But Bush has done the same with the War in Iraq. He has justified his reasons for us being there, well after the fact.

I am voting John Kerry and John Edwards tomorrow.

Update: "Watched some of the standard Sunday fare and it looks like people are predicting a Kerry win. Even that goofy bow tie wearing guy that Stewart bitch slapped on his own show had to admit that it. The only wrinkle is it could come down to a tie this time, with the changing of electoral votes since 2000.

If that happens it goes to the House and I'm predicting that the House, for the republican party's own good, will probably choose the canidate with the popular vote. Otherwise it will probably be the end of the republican control of congress and may be a major setback for the party for some time.

A statistical tie with a clear popular vote winner, if he is chosen, will then be the first actually democratically elected president. Everyone should vote even if they are in clear red or blue states for this reason. We need to have a clear popular vote winner in case of this eventuality." Found on Champy's blog.

Fuck it.

I was trying to be the better person, say, "Well the best man won." But I don't feel Bush was the better man.

I was trying to comprehend how did the American people let this happen?! Why did it come down to people wanting to deny others what they themselves are allowed? When did our political system get hyjacked by evalengeticals? When did for the people, by the people mean for the "Christians" by the "Christians".

At this very moment I am ready to puke. I am ready to tear out my womb and say I don't want to raise children in this country. I can't stand this. I can't stand the fact that we, as a nation are so close-minded that we decided on a man who uses fear, and lies, and faith to sway the American voters.

I sincerely felt that the American people were better than that. That they could make decisions based on the good of all and not on the presumed good based on Christianity.

Our country was founded, was molded by men that had the wisdom to say our new country will be a haven to all who need it, our country will not be prejudiced against christians or jews or methodists or atheists... they created a constitution to protect all the religious and the non religious. We are not living that today, if one issue, one issue about rights for all people, can sway the election.

Oh my goodness. I am so mad. I am so upset. I am considering leaving for England or Australia or Canada. Hey, Canadian friends, you don't mind if I bunk with you for the rest of my life, do you? How about the rest of the country? Will you take me and my disgruntled and disenfranchised compatriots in?

Part of me is saying, "I need to stay stong, be an example to others, and stand up for what I believe in." Because, this is my America too. I shouldn't be forced out. I shouldn't be discouraged.

I shouldn't be, but I am. Give me this one fucking day, at least to be pissed and less than I should be.

Give me some hope. Give me some peace. And with all this emotion spent, I am crying. I am lost and scared about where this country will be when Bush is through. Where will we be emotionally, economically, environmentally, internationally... will our human rights be upheld in the future? Will my freedoms be revoked?

I'm a provisional ballot not counted, a voice unheard, poor voter even poorer for believing in people's greatness.

(I am posting this unedited and as I wrote it in a state of complete dispondency and pain. Full of pity for America and myself.)

I'm looking forward to moving in more ways than I could possibly recount here. But to give you an idea, I'm using this move and it's timing to kick-off a whole new life. Because we are moving in January, it's a satisfactory time to begin anew, in everything.

Because we will be idealy situated within a community with large city amenities, more space and new changes I feel this will be the year I do things as I should and as I want. Let me explain:

Although I am not a "New Years' Resolution" type of girl, the move and subsequent changes will provide a nice documentable beginning; being the first month of the year. 2005 itself feels right in the mouth and on paper, too.

Being a person who makes due with what she's got has its perks, but it also has its downfalls, made obvious by the lack of space in our current residence. It was great for the minimalist in me and I could have enjoyed that a lot more than I have. Lack of space is a great equalizer, pre-making decisions for most. Living in our current space has seen several great purges and this move will bring at least one more. But the point of moving to a larger apartment (a flat, if you will) will provide storage spaces for the must haves (TP, vacuum, kitty litter, light bulbs, towels, etc.), the infrequently used items (Christmas ornaments, tool box, kites, linens, summer/winter clothes, etc.) and the nostalgic hanger-ons (wedding dress, Boba Fett, Halloween costumes, certain books, etc.) Three bedrooms provide an actual guest bedroom, (allowing our guests an actual space of their own, and their rest not depending upon our whims) and a room currently titled office/studio. Two bathrooms (oh luxery!), a basement (for hobby, laundy and cats), an actual dining room (for meals and serving and parties, oh my), living room and private backyard. Being a make-do kind of girl is fine and good, but no longer having to hyphenate rooms is heaven.

Being in a city (and I am a city girl at heart) makes everything easier and more exciting. Starting 2005, I will have access to more community events, more friend's events, more choices for shopping. Even though, currently we live in the heart of our small town's community, only blocks from our library, the only grocery store, and one delivery place (some would say, what more do we need?) in our new place we will have choices. Glorious choices! To shop at Whole Foods, Willie St. Co-op, Woodman's or Copps. Take the bus, bike or car into work. Go to the movie for an afternoon, instead of having to make a whole day of it. Swing to the bar to check out that band? Sure, what the heck. If we don't like it, we're not out a whole hour of drive time.

Madison itself is very progressive and will supply multiple venues to exercise my volunteering and civic responsibilities. I will no longer feel as though I am a citizen of two towns, and an orphan of both.

This move means less driving time, both commuting to and from work and about town. That means less gas and more money. That means, one car can be sold, one less insurance policy and more money in our hands.

All of our problems will not be solved. Money, in some respects will be tighter and we won't be closer to some friends and our families.

But on the bright side of things, the time we will spend with family and friends will be more valued and less taken for granted because of the infrequency and the distance.

This move will be a complete overhaul on life as we know it now. I expect to be more satisfied with it too. I am looking forward to it and the new chapter of our life.

There have been a lot of experiences tied to this chapter, but 2005 will bring a new start. Good bye newness of "married" life, so long newness of diabetes, financial responsibity is a must in this new chapter and I look forward to the cooperation Chilly and I will participate in to make this happen successfully, which has been somewhat lacking the past few years because we didn't need to.

We won't be severing any ties, but instead firmly placing ourselves into a new life, more to our liking and more compatable with our needs and desires.

2005 is my year for change. And I love change.

I dreamt I met George Bush. I felt like such a traitor because instead of speaking up to him about my concerns for this country I instead pandered to him, wanting him to like me, telling him, "Yes, you can play Huzband's GameBoy." Eventually the line I was in, got too long and I had to wave good bye to Laura (who by the way, had just found out she too has breast cancer) and George. He told me that I was welcome in their home anytime.

I also dreamt I was Buffy, fighting some unnamed Voldemort-like evil. There were bumbling henchmen and ropes I had to climb, and sidekicks made out of kitchen utensils (that talked!)

I'm looking at my theme. I can't really feel it. The header I dug when I first created it, but now, it just seems so heavy handed and self-important. I may change it soon, to something slimmer, more delicate. The colors and background don't feel right either. I've been futsing with them for days and I am still not satisfied. Change is in the air, I suppose. Then again, maybe not.

Tonight, is WTF. I hope you can tune in. Just go to WTF.MindSay.com and listen along. I'm sick, so my voice may not be awesome, but it will be present. AAP may be there (remotely) but may not, we don't know yet. It will be a surprise, no? LaughWithMe, a great supporter of WTF has a birthday today. We have asked her to answer Questions of the Week, so get over there and ask away! be sure to tune in! (I forgot, I closed the question asking session this morning.)